Well there's a lot of things that i want to say to you but the problem is i really don't know what to say. i don't know what to believe in anymore, i don't know what happened. The only thing i know is that i love you. no i'm not in love with you, i love you. there's a big difference with being in love and loving a person. when you're in love with a person tendency is you can fall out of love with them, but when you love a person whatever they are or whatever they show you, you will accept them with all your heart. You showed me all of your good and bad sides and i still accepted you. You lied to me but i still believed you. You treated me like shit but i still stayed with you. You broke me but i never left you. People around me told me that I'm stupid for still being part of your life, they told me that i should leave you because you didn't deserved me but i didn't listened to them. You told me that you needed me and i was there for you. I did a lot of sacrifices for you because you are important to me and i didn't want to lose you. But the real question is am i really important to you or do you want to lose me too?
Yes, I'm still alive. It's been months since i last updated my blog, well who can blame me i've been busy since i entered college. Speaking of college, I've been craving since the beginning of the school year to make a post about how my first day of college was, obviously i failed. Instead, i'll be talking about my 4 month experience with college.
A lot can happen in just 4 months. I met a lot of friends along the way and learned a lot of things, not just academically but also lessons about life. I learned that it's fun having college friends but highschool friends are forever. yes it's fun meeting new people and all, but never replace your highschool friends because first of all they watched you grow for four years. believe me or not they can be capable of knowing you more than you knowing yourself. I also learned that slacking around can make you regret it in the future. It may be just a homework or a seat work but that doesn't mean it's good to miss one, every point counts especially to those schools who are 0 based just like my school. I learned that your professors can also teach you life lessons that can be applicable in the future. I learned that it's better to go home early instead of going out after classes. and lastly I learned that "every piso counts", this is very important because you may need this especially in commuting. you'll never know the true value of a 1 peso coin unless you're lacking one when riding the jeep or any public transportation. by the way I am an Educational student major in special education.
I hope that by reading my post i somewhat gave you an advice or a tip that you can use in college.
A lot can happen in just 4 months. I met a lot of friends along the way and learned a lot of things, not just academically but also lessons about life. I learned that it's fun having college friends but highschool friends are forever. yes it's fun meeting new people and all, but never replace your highschool friends because first of all they watched you grow for four years. believe me or not they can be capable of knowing you more than you knowing yourself. I also learned that slacking around can make you regret it in the future. It may be just a homework or a seat work but that doesn't mean it's good to miss one, every point counts especially to those schools who are 0 based just like my school. I learned that your professors can also teach you life lessons that can be applicable in the future. I learned that it's better to go home early instead of going out after classes. and lastly I learned that "every piso counts", this is very important because you may need this especially in commuting. you'll never know the true value of a 1 peso coin unless you're lacking one when riding the jeep or any public transportation. by the way I am an Educational student major in special education.
I hope that by reading my post i somewhat gave you an advice or a tip that you can use in college.
It's been a long time since me and rain had our last bonding session, today we grabbed the opportunity to go out and catch up. Went to pergola at around 2pm and met up with her.
We were supposed to go at jthan's house to get my DM's but he wasn't answering his phone so we went to ATC instead. When we arrived at town we immediately went to jamba juice cause we were so tired from walking all the way from ahills to atc.
We went to the roof deck of jamba cause there were alot of people downstairs and because we want to take good quality selfies cause of the natural lighting. Typical pfshh. We saw migs, pitz, deutch and rigo at fully booked then they went to jamba to say hi to us.
They stayed for like 10 mins and then they left but migs stayed longer cause idk with him, he was our thirdwheel.
Migs ignoring us cause basically geometry lite >>>.
After like an hour (?) migs went back to his friends and me and rain went to eat at bon chon. After eating we went around town and window shopped.
When we got tired of walking around we went to fully booked and we just talked and talked and talked about things.
Her mom and sister picked us up at around 6 and they dropped me off at pergola. I really missed this girl so much, i'm looking forward to have another date with her.
Last saturday night (june 7, 2014) i went to cavite cause my cousins told me that i should spend the night there and insistead that i should get hair done into an ombré just like theirs. I always wanted to have an ombré hair just like the girls on tumblr but i'm actually scared that it may not suit me and that it may look like a mess. I thought about it for a minute, "am i really going to do this? Am i going to regret this later?" But after a lot of convincing i finally gave in.
So while watching pbb my cousin applied the hair products on my hair.
1st coating: brown
2nd coating: brown (lol don't mind the eyes)
3rd coating: pink
Finished product yay.
I was very happy that it actually turned out great, i feel like a hipster now lol. Also got really nice compliments from random people and friends when they saw my hair, they said that it looks really nice and it suits me very well. I would like to thank my lovely cousin yang laca for my hair!
I hate this kind of post, this is bullshit. Really. I'm sorry but it really is. What i even hate is that when girls obsess about wanting to have a guy/boy bestfriend who will do stuff a boyfriend usually does. Honey, you don't want a guy bestfriend you basically want a boyfriend. You want a guy bestfriend because you are ifuactuated with the feeling of having someone who cares about you and who makes you feel important. I'm not saying that your girl bestfriend can't do this stuff too, but the feeling is different when it's a guy bestfriend. REALITY CHECK: you're just seeking for a guy's attention, you love it when they make you feel like your on top of the world, cause tbh it's kind of a lovely feeling and another thing is that you're actually infactuated with the feeling of having that cliché kind of guy bestfriend who are in movies, books and whatnot that you end up falling for. Not all girls are like this, just most. I used to be this kind of girl though i never appreciated the feeling of having a guy bestfriend.
Wanna know why the picture above states alot of bullshit? Because having a guy bestfriend Is really one of the best relationships you will ever have in your life. Guy bestfriends aren't perfect, they aren't always sweet, but when they say sweet stuff they mean it and it's actually the truth. They actually swear alot, they can be stubborn as fuck, they also PMS on you though, that's what you call "man period". they literally can be a jerk sometimes, they can also be a pain in the ass and you still want to keep them. when they know they did/said something bad to you they apologize to you and you know that it's sincere. You can literally tell them everything. LIKE EVERYTHING. It can be something stupid, it can be one of your deepest darkest secrets, you can talk about the most dirtiest stuff that an innocent mind cannot think of, hell you can even tell them about your period and both of you won't even get awkward with it. The word "awkward" doesn't even exist in your relationship you two are just way too comfortable with each other. They won't judge you even if they saw every side of you, good and bad. you can be the most crappiest person ever and they would still want you as their bestfriend. You know what i've learned when you have a guy bestfriend? You are the best thing that ever happened to them even if they won't admit it.
Maybe i'm wrong or maybe i'm right idk it's just an opinion of mine.
I always thought that i knew what love is and thought that i actually felt the feeling of falling in love. I thought that i loved all the guys i used to like before, i can say i used to like them but i was never in love with them, not even one bit. I guess i was infatuated when guys were actually really nice to me and when they entertain me. I realize now that i was too in love with the thought of being in love. Maybe it was because all my life i was in love with watching and reading cliche love stories, that's why i was rushing myself to be loved by someone from the opposite sex. i actually thought that all the things i felt was the actual feeling of falling in love with someone.
Not until now.......
Earlier this year i met this really amazing person who made me realize what love is and what was the real feeling of falling in love with someone.
He made me realize that "love is a dangerous game". Dangerous how you say? Well when you love someone you tend to do anything and everything for them, just to let them know how you feel. you'd do anything for that certain person that sometimes it just leads you to a broken heart. He made me feel that falling in love was actually the best and worst feeling that you will experience in your life.
I knew that my love for this person was true. Wanna know why? You know you really love someone when all you want is for that person to be happy, even if your not part of their happiness. You know you love them so much when you'd actually do things for them even if it means you'll have to get hurt. You know you love them when they're the only person you ever thought about at 3am. You know it's love when you can never see yourself not loving them in the future, even if you have met other people they were still the one who got your heart. You know it's love when you love them and they don't love you back like the way you feel for them but you won't give up even if it can tear you apart. You know it's love when all of the people around you tells you to stop because you don't deserve them and you'll find someone better. That's the thing it's not about who you deserve it's about who you want, who you need and who you love. You know it's love when you will stay up with them until past 4 in the morning just so you can talk to them even if your conversations never really made sense. You know you love them when you can't go a day without talking to them. You know you love them when you can't stay mad at them not even for a second. You know you really really love them that even if they break your heart for a million times they're still the one that you want, it was only ever theirs to break anyways. You know that your love is true when you stick by with that person even when you saw their dark side, good side, funny side, emotional side, jealous side (etc.) and that ever flaw and every imperfection never really stopped you from loving them. You know you actually love them when you are willing to risk things even if it means it may hurt you in the future.
Well these was all the reasons why i knew i love him and knew that it was true. Maybe it's kinda stupid to say that i'll wait for him even if it was a long shot but that's what i'm going to do. I may sound desperate and all but i really love him and that's the thing about love it'll make you do some crazy things.
Yesterday me and the fam bam ate lunch at Conti's bakeshop and restaurant in BF parañaque.
This was one of my favorite places to eat in. It's because the place was really cozy and at the same time classy even though the place was not that big. The people who work there were really nice and they were very approachable.
Another thing is that i really like their music taste, it really suits the place. And lastly the main reason why i love this restaurant is because of their A+ food!
Yayy for baked salmon and risotto rice!!! *moans* This is my all time fave dish, i want to cry because it's so good it's like i was falling inlove with it. Is that even possible? Huhuhu having foodgasams u___u
And what's a good thing to do when you're choking the goodness and deliciousness of your dish? Having to chug down house blended lemonade juice.
After eating lunch we headed straight to sm southmall to like chill and window shop. So many cute clothes so little money huhuhu *ugly crying*.
lol outfit of the day.
Afterwards we went to my dentist/aunt, i had an appointment because this past few days my jaw really hurt and it was because i had a bad tooth lol :-(
And to end this post, can i just say that recently i've fell inlove with this song (all of me by john legend) and i've been listening to it for 24/7.
It's been a while since i last updated my blog, it's because a. i was too lazy to type out random words, b. i think nobody ever reads my blog anyways (lol) another thing was that c. i think that there were never any blog worthy happenings that happened in the past few months of my life (well actually there were, but hey you are looking at the master of procrastination right here lol) d. I'm not actually good with words, but when i'm alone or when i'm at peace with myself and plan on blogging i actually know what to say and how to describe things around me then when it's time for me to actually type the words on my blog, my mind goes blank. But today i told my self "hey bitch why don't you get your procrastinating ass to work and do something for a change. don't think about what other people might say just do what makes you fucking happy for once!" . So here i am awkwardly blogging my inner thoughts and feels.....
Uhmm this was actually supposed to be posted like 3 weeks ago lol i was too lazy to blog stuff :-(
Okay so my cousins stayed over here for like 1 week (it felt like 2 tho). hehehe staycation. I'm so glad that they actually stayed over cause if it wasn't for them 1. i never would have loved VSCOcam. A while back i was actually against VSCOcam cause i could not figure how that app worked, i thought it was really complicated back then and i used to hate the filters. But once my cousin shauna convinced me on using it, it was actually pretty great. 2. I wouldn't have had a clean feed on instagram. Follow me on ig: @katecruz_ ;). Like i wouldn't have become so artsy on ig (well i think i'm artsy). 3. I wouldn't have fell inlove and obsess all over again with my fave bands 5sos and 1D. Idk if this was actually a good thing or a badthing. 4. My playlist wouldn't have been updated. and lastly 5. I wouldn't have blogged again.
Back to the story....
We all went out to go to the mall cause it's like a 100 degrees at home, it was like you were hell was actually just 5 inches below you and we were pretty bored with our lives. But before heading to our destination my mom stopped over somewhere at las piñas for her baking stuff. me and my cousin shauna saw this graffiti wall and we had like a mini photoshoot.
I was pretty shy to pose in a public place cause i really hate it when people are staring at you and like judging you and stuff.
Let me explain what happened here. I was shy, afraid and ashamed at the same time. When i saw a group of people that were about to pass by infront of me i felt shy posing infront of the graffiti so i ran laughing across the road where my cousin was at and she was shouting "it's okay they don't even know you and they won't even see you ever again ahahahaha!"
It took awhile to get some pretty decent pictures though. But i'm happy how this unplanned mini photoshoot turned out.
When they were here we always went out, it's either it was so hot at home or i was arranging things for college and going to school back and forth.
I now have this thing where i like to take pics outside the car window while i'm on the road and editing it on VSCO.
it was always exciting and memorable when me,shauna and viel were together. Like we planned like stuff we would do for the day and actually end up having unexpected fun activities than our original plans.
Before they left we went to sm bf to eat at Burger king and guess what was the first thing we did..... Took pictures of the place and make it look artsy the posting it on ig. DUH. (lol white girls)
I miss them like crazy! It was actually hard saying goodbye to them :-( i hope they would stay over again soon cause i got no one from my same age to talk to here.
